It's got to the stage where I cant even trust my own mind anymore. I think that i'd like to be a filmmaker, but worry that it's too idealistic. I'm not sure if this feeling is that feeling you get when you realise what you want to be, or just like a child saying they want to be a footballer or Leona Lewis when they grow up...that is how unsure of myself I have gotten.
Am I still the kid, or am I a mature adult, making informed decisions and going with their instinct; if it feels right, I should just pursue it, yeah?
I'm asking myself to find something else to follow, knowing I will always have this film passion to fall back on. But that's just it: is it just a passion? I am incapable of determining what aspects of my personality and interests should be kept as just that, interests, and which should be pursued as potential careers where I could realise my potential and be happy. I guess the ultimate feeling of success is doing your hobby for a living. Which for me then would be getting a wage for sitting round and debating every single move I make, however small or magnificent, the way it's going at the moment.
Judge me, I need opinions if i'm going to get anywhere.